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“Why Didn’t You just Leave?” Is a Dumb Question

“Why Didn’t You just Leave?” Is a Dumb Question Let’s talk about the cultural stigma of domestic violence. Specifically, that glittering, gold-standard question survivors love to hear at cocktail parties, family dinners, or in the comments section: “But why didn’t you just leave?” Oh, I don’t know, Susan. Maybe because navigating a daily obstacle course…
Do you believe in karma?

Do you believe in karma? Absolutely not. And if karma does exist, it’s clearly on an extended lunch break, scrolling TikTok, and ignoring every cosmic email in its inbox. And if karma does exist, it’s clearly ghosting all of us. Not even a “new phone, who dis?”—just pure, unbothered silence while the universe burns like…
Not just “quirky”

Not Just “Quirky” I have spent my entire adult life working as a professional clinical psychologist. I hold advanced degrees in human behavior, diagnose emotional distress for a living, and spend 40 hours a week helping people navigate their psyches. Yet, it took a formal clinical evaluation from a colleague to make me realize that…
An Open Letter to the Absolute Master of Deflection

First of all, congratulations. It takes a truly special kind of talent to take a woman who loved you, held your hand through your family drama, and backed you up completely, and turn her into the villain of your story. I hope you get a trophy for that level of creative writing. I really thought…
Running in Sand

Running in Sand For the last four and a half years, I have had the distinct pleasure of learning how family court works when you are a neurodivergent woman with limited resources, visible emotions, and the audacity to believe facts matter. Spoiler alert: they don’t. I entered this process believing that if I documented everything,…
A loving little essay from a person held together with tape, nicotine, and the suspicious belief that maybe the universe has a filing system.

People love to say, “Everything happens for a reason,” usually right after something terrible happens and right before they offer you a casserole, a prayer emoji, or the kind of advice that makes you want to walk calmly into the ocean. And here’s the annoying part: I think they’re right. I do. I believe things…
NO warranty on Vulnerability

NO warranty on Vulnerability keep coming back to the same painful thought: the person I trusted is not the person I recognize now. Maybe he changed. Maybe he revealed parts of himself I did not want to see. Maybe I was holding onto the version of him that made me feel safe, seen, and hopeful.…
Anger is the Bodyguard: Why feel when you can fight?

Anger is the emotional equivalent of a loud, leather-jacket-wearing bodyguard. When you yell because someone took the last cup of coffee without brewing a fresh pot, it looks like a direct reaction to caffeine deprivation. In reality, that loud reaction is just a secondary emotion shielding a much more sensitive, primary emotion hiding backstage. The…
Montgomery County Family Court and Corruption

One of the most difficult things to come to terms with as a parent going through a divorce is learning your spouse is now your worst enemy. Every little secret you whispered to your spouse at 3am starts to replay over and over in your mind… Luckily mine probably wasn’t listening, so, little benefit there,…
One Habit

I am a big believer in you have to make a bunch of small. incremental changes in order to be successful at larger changes and them having longevity. I have instituted a lot of small changes into my life over the course of 4 decades, but the one I will always reiterate to others and…
The Modern F*ckboy: A fieldguide

Let’s be clear: a fuckboy is not a mystery. He is not complex. He is not “healing.” He is not “just bad at texting.” No. He is a clearance-rack player with luxury-brand confidence and a return policy written in disappearing ink. The term has been around for decades, which makes sense, because apparently humanity looked…
that’s ridiculous

I think I was the kind of child that didn’t believe much of the lies that children are told while growing up…everything in my brain needs to go through the scientific method. You want me to believe in Santa? Fine, I’ll be up till dawn every Christmas eve to confirm, while simultaneously doing a family…
Taking Advice?

The most profound piece of advice I have ever received is actually something that I have heard many times, and almost every single time I failed to yield said advice. I have heard the same advisement from my mother, my brother, my ex-husband, my lawyer, judges….and for some reason, I still can’t do it most…